Quote of the Day (2014-09-25)

And the Lord did grin.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-09-24)

Frasier: I remember a time back in Boston when I was going through exactly what you're going through. Just a week later, I met a lovely barmaid, sophisticated if a bit loquacious. We fell madly in love, we got engaged ... of course, she left me standing at the altar but the point is, I didn't give up! I took my poor battered heart and offered it to Lilith! Who put it in her little Cuisinart and hit the "puree" button... I rebounded, and look how far I've come! I'm divorced, lonely, and living with my father.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2014-09-23)

All right all right all right we'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-09-22)

Michael Bolton: You haven't even been showing up for work, and you got to keep your job.

Peter Gibbons: Actually I'm being promoted.

Source: Office Space

Quote of the Day (2014-09-21)

Derek Zoolander: Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2014-09-20)

Niles: I'm not without resources. My Tae-Kwan-Do instructor tells me I'm two moves away from being quite threatening.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2014-09-19)

Homer: "To start, press any key." Where's the "Any" key?

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2014-09-18)

Who is the bigger fool? The fool, or the fool who follows him?

Source: Star Wars: A New Hope

Quote of the Day (2014-09-17)

Wanda: To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep who could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?

Otto: Apes don't read philosophy.

Wanda: Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it.

Source: A Fish Called Wanda

Quote of the Day (2014-09-16)

Jim: Five standard excuses?

Sir Humphrey: Yes. First there's the excuse we used for instance in the Anthony Blunt case.

Jim: Which was?

Sir Humphrey: That there is a perfectly satisfactory explanation for everything, but security forbids its disclosure. Second, there is the excuse we used for comprehensive schools, that it has only gone wrong because of heavy cuts in staff and budget which have stretched supervisory resources beyond the limits.

Jim: But that's not true is it?

Sir Humphrey: No, but it's a good excuse. Then there's the excuse we used for Concorde, it was a worthwhile experiment, now abandoned, but not before it had provided much valuable data and considerable employment.

Jim: But that is true isn't it? Oh no, of course it isn't.

Sir Humphrey: The fourth, there's the excuse we used for the Munich agreement. It occurred before certain important facts were known, and couldn't happen again.

Jim: What important facts?

Sir Humphrey: Well, that Hitler wanted to conquer Europe.

Jim: I thought everybody knew that.

Sir Humphrey: Not the Foreign Office.

Jim: Five?

Sir Humphrey: Five, there's the Charge of the Light Brigade excuse. It was an unfortunate lapse by an individual which has now been dealt with under internal disciplinary procedures."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-09-15)

Narrator: Do you want me to deprioritize my current reports until you advise me of a status upgrade?

Richard Chesler: Yes. Make these your primary action items.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2014-09-14)

"This is our best model, the Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like, you're almost glad to be handicapped."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-09-13)

Jim Hacker: "Yes, well this is serious."

Chief Whip: "Very serious."

Sir Humphrey: "Very serious."

Jim Hacker: "What could happen if either of them became PM?"

Sir Humphrey: "Something very serious indeed."

Chief Whip: "Very serious."

Jim Hacker: "I see...."

Chief Whip: "Serious repercussions."

Sir Humphrey: "Serious repercussions."

Chief Whip: "Of the utmost seriousness."

Jim Hacker: "Yes, that is serious."

Sir Humphrey: "In fact, I would go so far as to say, that it could hardly be more serious."

Jim Hacker: "Well, I think we all agree then: this is serious."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-09-12)

Your kids don't need to know who you were before you had them. They need to know who you wish you were and they need to try to live up to that person. They're gonna fall short, but better to fall short of the fake you than the real you.

Source: Modern Family

Quote of the Day (2014-09-11)

Marge: Bart, would you like to say grace?

Bart: Yesum!

[Bart says grace in Latin]

Homer: What the hell was that?

Lisa: Bart's speaking Latin, the language of Plutarc.

Homer: [Homer looks blankly] Micky Mouse's dog?

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2014-09-10)

Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, its clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.

Sally Albright: Why?

Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?

Sally Albright: Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2014-09-09)

Jerry: "I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."

Kramer: "Really?"

Jerry: "We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men."

Kramer: "So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"

Jerry: "Yes, we did."

Kramer: "Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."

Jerry: "There isn't?"

Kramer: "Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating."

Jerry: "I can?"

Kramer: "Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner?"

Jerry: "What?"

Kramer: "You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"

Jerry: "Boy."

Kramer: "It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."

Jerry: "I'm glad we had this talk."

Kramer: "Oh, you have no idea."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-09-08)

Larry Lipton: I can't listen to that much Wagner, ya know? I start to get the urge to conquer Poland.

Source: Manhattan Murder Mystery

Quote of the Day (2014-09-07)

Sir Humphrey: "So we trust you to make sure that your Minister does nothing incisive or divisive over the next few weeks."

Sir Arnold: "Avoids anything controversial."

Sir Humphrey: "Expresses no firm opinion about anything at all. Now, is that quite clear?"

Bernard Woolley: "Yes, well, I think that is probably what he was planning to do anyway."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-09-06)

"Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable. I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It all became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat... It's often wrong."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-09-05)

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-09-04)

[Frasier's rocker neighbor's music is shaking his apartment]

Frasier: Doesn't he take a break for sex and drugs?

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2014-09-03)

Archie: Whatever happened to the good old days when kids was scared to death of their parents?

Source: All in the Family

Quote of the Day (2014-09-01)

Brian: Please, please, please listen! I've got one or two things to say.

The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!

Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!

The Crowd: Yes! We're all individuals!

Brian: You're all different!

The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!

Man in crowd: I'm not...

The Crowd: Sch!?

Source: Life of Brian